January 8th, 2015
There are many things in this world that I have accomplished and am proud of during the fifty-five years I have been on this planet. I have started up businesses, organized companies, managed multiple locations, put together corporations and the like. But I must say out of everything I have ever done, the most rewarding and far-reaching thing I have accomplished is raising two good, strong, decent men in my sons.
Now I have to tell you raising sons is not a walk in the park. In fact, raising children in general is not an easy thing. But the responsibility to raise good men has a domino effect that has epic proportions. Fathers must have a heavy presence in the lives of their sons if they’re going to be good men themselves. A father gives weight to a son’s life. Don’t miss that word… WEIGHT!! This is what allows a boy to stand in the face of opposition. It’s what gives a boy confidence in the face of peer pressure. It’s why a boy doesn’t have to give in to values he doesn’t hold to because his father gave weight to his life.
Think of something that has no weight. The first thing that comes to mind is a feather. Think of what a feather does. It floats and drifts according to which way the wind blows. Sounds like some politicians we know. That’s dangerous territory for a young boy. He can get involved in many bad and unfortunate things. He needs weight, dad, and you have to give it to him.
Another problem I see is the way we live our lives as fathers. It’s important to model the kind of life that’s attractive. There’s something about an attractive life that everyone wants to emulate especially a son wanting to be like his father. Often times my son’s will imitate me. They’ll speak like me, their mannerisms will be like mine, all the way to my expressions. They do this with an audience hoping for a laugh and of course they get a roar because they’re good. They’ve studied me for a long time. They’ve been watching!! Dad, can I tell you something? Your sons are watching. They’re watching all your moves your mannerisms and they’re taking mental notes. Notes that they will refer to for the rest of their lives. You see, you’re the definition of what a man is. How a man lives, walks, loves, plays, talks… what his priorities are – everything.
The last thing I want to mention and, this might be the most important, are your words. We, as fathers, don’t usually think our words carry much weight because afterall, they’re just words. Dads, I want you to understand that the words of a father will carry more weight than anyone on the planet either negative or positive. A Father’s words are like a self-fulfilling prophecy in a boy’s life. Tell him he’s a bum enough times, eventually he’ll believe you. Tell your son he’s a prince, he’ll become one.
There are three things a son needs to hear from his father on a continual basis: 1) Son, I love you. A boy needs to know he has his father’s love. 2) Son, I’m proud of you. A son needs to know his father has set his seal of approval on him and has accepted him. 3) Son, you’re good at —–. Whatever he’s good at – a son needs to know his father has noticed that there is something he does well.
Dads, the greatest thing we can do as men is to be this kind of father and to leave this world with a new generation of great men. As fathers we must have the vision, courage and commitment to guard our seed and take care that it grows straight and strong.